torstai 15. toukokuuta 2014

Declaration of the International Fluevog Day

Dear John,

With the ever so warmest hearts we salute you from Helsinki, Finland!

In Finland, we do not have much. We do have one Monty Python song, that's true. And, of course, Conan O'Brien has made fun of our previous president. But that helps only so far.

Shoe wise, Finland is an undeveloped country. We do have Minna Parikka, luckily, but that's not enough for a whole life. The inhabitants are void of proper shoes and, unfortunately, not so many of us even realise the horrible circumstances we live in. We are trying to celebrate the International Fluevog Day, but it's a bit difficult since we are the only ones in sight with proper shoes.

Even the architecture in Finland is mostly boring

We tried to promote the Vog Day, but unfortunately none of our three friends cared that much. Even Mia's mother was disinterested. In a meeting which Mia attended no one even recognized the brand and Mia lost her little remaining credibility by shouting out the shock of people's indifference. The graphic designer of Satu's office didn't care. Satu's husband couldn't care less. Even Mia's imaginary boyfriend didn't give a shit.

This country is in a state of Unshoe. We can't make it on our own; we are in urgent need of international development aid.

It's not that we haven't tried our best ourselves. We are using all the possible means to get us the Vogs we need so badly. We have even started up a Facebook shoe fleamarket in hope of getting our hands on whatever Vogs there are in Finland. So far, there has been only one pair, which almost got us in a fight over them. On better days we can afford ordering from the mother load Vog site, on poorer we are happy with Fluemarket and what it has to offer. Luckily, there's Raspberry Heels in Poland.  But, all these come with an inherent fail: It takes too much time to get the shoes. Sometimes one just needs a quick fix.

Finland already has a strong connection with Canada: ice hockey, forests and Finnish immigrants (we're quite sure they left Finland for better shoes). Satu knows two Canadian persons, and Mia has seen a picture of one. The bond between our countries is strong as steel.

As you can see, life in Finland isn't easy. It seems really unfair to suffer constantly when you guys have more than enough of what we need so desperately. For the sake of the brother- and sisterhood of our countries, we beg for your help in our struggle for saving this society from inevitable doom in form of ugly shoes. We need Fluevogs. Not like the oranges after the war, an accidental miracle, but on a daily basis. We need to educate people on civilized shoe use. We can't keep wearing boring shoes, like animals. We don't want to remain the styleless shoe nation we are today!

We need our very own Fluevog store! As a first aid, a proper retailer would be a start.

Please read this declaration as a message in a bottle from deserted shoeless island and Save Our Soles!

With love and desperation,
Satu and Mia

Ei kommentteja:

Lähetä kommentti

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...